Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.