Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize