i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is