Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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