you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
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Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
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Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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