so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
