haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
