Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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