I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
