1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
