They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
