You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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