3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
He kissed a someone with a penis
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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