are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize