I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
smell my finger.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
