no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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