Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I lost the right to judge tonight
Randomize