loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
