It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
a search helicopter?!
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
