Buhtt sex?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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