saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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