Your mouth is God's brothel.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
