those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
how drunk are you?
Several
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
