My liver just broke up with me...
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
