What did we do last night that was yellow?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
