making cat noises will not fix the situation.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
