Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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