i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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