ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Life is so much better after having sex.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
