I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize