How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
