Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I want her autograph on my taint
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
