No awkward lesbian experiences without me
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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