taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize