so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
