So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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