I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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