The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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