Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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