My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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