the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
