Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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