See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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