i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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