I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
