Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
