Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
