just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
