Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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