Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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