Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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