Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
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