there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
