I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
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