I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize