laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
i believe in u and ur pee
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
