I think I died a long time ago.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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