Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
