return my video game
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
