Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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