I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
