im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
