Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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