I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
