So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
