Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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