oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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