I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
