It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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