Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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