i would punch a child for taco bell
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
