my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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