it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
